February 2012
2 posts
What's the point of sticking around for someone...
It bothers me when I put effort into a friendship and get none in return. I guess you just don’t like me, and I’m totally fine with that. Deuces.
It can be said that every human is searching for their meaning in life. Everyday, people want to have a purpose for living, this is why we fill our day with activities, and plans. What is the purpose of living life without a meaning? Lately I’ve noticed a lot more about the people around me, I ended up sitting beside a man in the library who pulled out a magazine after he saw me doing my studying....
January 2012
4 posts
I just want to give up, but I'm not going to.
As much as we don't want others to judge us, we do...
I’m being mindfucked again starting to realize things, it’s really good to know though.
I need to stop penalizing myself for being...
I’m lucky I have this perspective, who cares about everyone else. They just don’t know.
December 2011
1 post
So there’s that after-performing feeling that’s amazing… but then there is the one that makes me feel like I could have done better. For next time.. let’s do diss JENNIFER.
November 2011
1 post
September 2011
3 posts
seems that i have bigger goals now that i have to start thinking further ahead in the future, i don’t want to be the regular person who just goes to school on the daily and works. i want to do bigger things like travel and take pictures and do what i love. i have a lot of thinking to do before i start university.
Boys will be boys.
This is why I have no problem waiting for a boyfriend.
August 2011
2 posts
I feel really confused lately. I don’t know who I am and are questioning way too much. I need to start reassuring myself and surrounding myself with the right people to make me feel better about me.
That feeling you get when you hear a song you know...
Green Light- John Legend by Hernani. I miss those days.
June 2011
3 posts
I am way too concerned for my own good. Let go and let God. All I will do is cry silently in my sleep, and pray to God that she finds her way. I’m overprotected and she’s the only person I have no idea what she is thinking, coming home at this time; having the audacity to not think about what others worry about.
Keep your head up Jenn, keep it real, and just keep doing your thing....
Why the fuck do I care anymore.
All you do is make me worry, ugh. It’s just the age, just a phase. Think positive Jenn.
May 2011
4 posts
Faith
As I grow older, I begin to see what Mass really is for me. When I was younger, I along with many others thought church was so boring. And even now my younger sibling don’t seem to understand the true meaning of it. It used to be something I was forced to go to as a family rather because I was born into a Catholic family not knowing what it was. As I start to mature it seems so inverted from...
Dance
Last night we had our Notre Dame Dance Off, the once dance off we’ve had so many obstacles for. Through the tears and sweat we really pulled through. I don’t think it was even about the competition for me anymore, all I wanted was my inspiration and that great feeling of dance back, and it was there last night. I bawled a bit before it, but I did pull through. I can’t explain how...
It's difficult to get something done when you...
Once we focus and get things done, is when I feel accomplished. When I feel accomplished as a team is when that passion comes back because when things get done, is when time is not a problem and we can just loaft around and just enjoy eachothers presence we’ve been blessed with. I’ve been so close to giving up lately, but I won’t let it happen. I believe in us.
I'm one emotional ass gyal.
I don’t know if its the fact that I put the needs of others way before mine, or I just hate knowing that I have uninspired them in a way, I know I shouldn’t be blaming myself and I’m not anymore. But in that moment it’s like I could not explain why I just broke-down like that. When I ran backstage and tried to gather myself, but it was spotted anyways; that was because I...
April 2011
4 posts
“There is one great truth on this planet: whoever you are, or whatever it is that...”
– Paulo Coelho The Alchemist.
Its not easy to find balance in life.
To be able to live in the moment, but think for my future at the same time. To live a teenage life, and deal with adult situations.
Me: It’s probably because I overthink too much, ugh.
FG: No, its just because you’re too good yourself you want everything around you to be good.
..in other words. You’re so good yourself, you wish there was only good, happiness
Stem Cells and Parkinson's
I’m currently procrastinating when I should be continuing my research for Biology. It is about Parkinson’s Disease. My grandmother has Parkinson’s and ever since I was born she has had it, only getting worst. She’s come so close to death, yet she is still staying strong; even though it means staying in bed for the rest of her life. I’m actually interested in a lot of...
March 2011
4 posts
Doubt
I am surrounded by friends who really open my mind when it comes to what I believe in, I know that they aren’t trying to change my values are or anything.. but I see it in the perspective that they’re trying to let me know the other side of things.
We had an assembly for this Charity called the inside ride, and you basically make a team to compete and see who raises the most money...
NTS: Stop comparing myself to others. Love you for...
“See the beauty in yourself as I have seen it in you”
Something I hate
Is my self-consciousness and the barrier that I build sometimes. I guess I can have mood swings occasionally. I’d have to say I am not a shy person around the people I automatically feel comfortable around, but if I don’t open up and talk I always blame myself for not making a good enough impression because all I want is for you to know me for who I really am. I don’t know why I...
PRIORITIES
Today I had Choir, Green Team, RYC dance practice, dance crew practice, Math Club and workout with a friend. I realize that I don’t really stress when it comes to the present, or setting out my priorities; probably because I don’t set them out. I am way too involved for my own good, yet I love it. I love interacting with people, but on top of all that I now have shitloads of studying...
February 2011
10 posts
"Don't worry, trust in the Lord."
I’ve been stressing all week about what the future holds for me, expectations and how to meet them, what I want to do with my life and to see the difference between what I need, and what makes me happy. I went too mass today, and must I say I only attend occasionally/ twice a month; the priest spoke about how people should stop stressing, and leave it to God.
“Don’t worry,...
Course Selections for Gr. 12
How scary is it for me that I’m already currently flipping through University pamphlets, looking for my requirements to start planning for my fuckin future; already. Seriously, I have this thing called gerascophbia, fear of growing old. I have a denial problem where I can’t seem to let go of childhood because of how much happiness the ignorance brought me. I’m still young, live...
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not...
2 tags
Attention
I notice that I don’t tend to get the attention that lustful attention when it comes to guys. I notice that if someone were to see me, my first impression wouldn’t be as pleasing as a girl with big eyes, big lips and nice long hair. I ask myself though if I really want this type of physical, ”first-impression” type of attention. All I need is the one person who will like...
I really need to stop comparing myself to other...
Both positively and negatively, it doesn’t do anybody good. If I be degrading someone else to make me feel better its horrible, and if I degrade myself still horrible. I guess it’s really unnecessary. Let’s just love all around, everyone is unique in their own way.
I don't think I would be the same person if I...
They add to my personality. Not just black people, lmfao but I guess for anyone it goes. You tend to become who you are around your friends.
Who doesn't want someone to be with?
I’ve been wondering how amazing it would be to have someone to cuddle with, chill with, a guy who I can totally be myself around, who appreciates my positivity and morals. Who I can sing to, dance with. But seeing how with a relationship comes problems, I’m guessing its probably worth it. I’m not ready yet though believe it or not, I just haven’t met the right one. One. I...
1 tag
Being myself.
I wish I could be comfortable around people I talk to, to be myself without asking these questions. But as I live life and meet certain people, I can’t help but start to feel self-conscious about my actions. Questioning my words and actions, I start to hesitate in saying what I want. I know it doesn’t matter what other people think but why does everything just tie together, telling me...
I want to stand at the gates of heaven, look back...
January 2011
9 posts
“For Attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the...”
– Audrey Hepburn (via quote-book)
Good
Through me He works.
People always tell me that I always see the good in everything, everybody; in the way that I’m being deceived by what I see, because through this perspective, I am able to trust people more easily, and live on positive terms with everyone. Is this a bad thing? Could it be? I really don’t know. Being surrounded by what is, a ”corrupt” society, where...
Sorry if my words don't come out right, sounding...
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on you own understanding in...”
– Proverbs 3:5-6
Media Corruption
I realize now how much technology and media seperates me from my sibings and family time.
I can never come to the point of feeling sorry for...
Stressin
Lately i’ve been really stressed about all the crap that keeps piling up. With exams coming, ISU’s due and on top of that more friggen lessons and homework? I’ve noticed though that if I actually focus, I can get a lot done. It’s just Chemistry thats really pulling me down. I can do this. I can do this.
PT. 2
I know now. I need to give her time, I need to give myself time. She is still trying to find out who she is, why am I bitching and expecting so much from her. I blame myself for not being able to let go of her childhood, my childhood and accepting the fact that they’re growing up.
Is it just a phase? I hope so. Pt. 1
So I’m in a family of 5 kids. I being the 2nd oldest have a younger sister. Her name’snot important. She’s very different though, I don’t think she’s different from other kids growing up but different from me as person. She is easily peer pressured, I think all that I may be saying now she probably doesn’t even know herself, and I’ve had many breakdowns...
December 2010
16 posts
Gerascophobia- Fear of growing old
(unknown photographer)
I have a fear of growing up. I don’t know, I guess I’m not ready and I’d prefer when “Ignorance is bliss,” This explains why I’m so attached to kids, their innocence and pure ignorance brings me happiness.
Sometimes a dream feels so real, it seems like its...
